Dumpster Diving

Another school year has come to a close (yes it closed nearly 3 months ago as of the posting of this, sigh). Yet before the caps have even been thrown into the air dumpsters and trash pick-up areas on campuses across the nation have been piled to the brim with stuff. At colleges, universities, and private high schools students are throwing away all kinds of perfectly functional and useful crap. Couches, containers, carpets, detergent, desk lamps, notebooks, Nalgenes, bags, books, and more.

I have half a mind to launch into a rant lamenting our consumerism-driven, disposable society. I could further lambaste spoiled rich kids who think the world is theirs to wipe with and throw-away. I could go on about those who lack foresight and buy things they don't need without considering what will happen to these items when they leave. I could maintain this self-righteous tizzy for pages on end, but I think I've gone far enough already. Instead I'd like to sing the benefits of dumpster diving.

Dumpster diving, which I'm defining loosely as any sort of search and retrieval involving other people's trash, has physical, economical, and moral benefits. Consider my recent experience this past June at a private high school which will remain nameless. This school is in an isolated area. It is a boarding school and by and large the students that attend have permanent addresses far-far-away. This means that transporting their property is difficult. Many opt to simply trash their belongings rather than deal with the burden of transport. Combine this fact with the expensive tuition at this school and what you end up with is a lot of potentially expensive stuff clogging the hallways on graduation day.

This is where I step in. What began as Environmentalist guilt eventually crescendoed into excitement and a feeling of adventure. It was so exciting that after scouring the dorm in which I live I strapped on a back pack, which I had recently found in the trash, and set off across campus in search of new trash piles to claim! I felt quite a bit like an explorer of olde. Around every corner lay fresh, or not so fresh, territory to explore. I might stumble upon treasure at any moment. Did my inner pirate seek plunder? Yarr, indeed.

Only, I didn't feel like an historical pioneer. No, I wish that I had felt like an explorer. Instead, what immediately came to mind was a feeling evoked by computer games such as World of Warcraft, or for me Diablo I, II.

I had myriad dungeons to explore and loot to claim. I had to manage encumbrance. It was just like any number of games only the game I was playing had far better graphics and a much higher (and more straightforward) in-game currency to U.S. dollar exchange rate.

As I gathered up the refuse of others, saving all manner of items from the dumpster I felt warm and fuzzy with righteousness. I even donated over a hundred pounds of my plunder to charitable organizations. Meanwhile, my alignment shot through the roof.

Carrying all these heavy loads on repeated trips to my room, whereupon I sallied forth again, was quite a workout. Had I glanced up I might have seen "str + 2" flash above my head as I gained strength.

Call me a loot whore, but I think it was worth it. I used all my means to find valuable items and carry them back to my dorm. My final tally of items follows:

• 4 plastic storage bins (perfecting for shipping all this stuff)
• 1 soccer ball
• 2 frisbees (the easy kind with the hole in the middle)
• 1 trench coat
• 1 super soaker
• an unopened pack of Gilette mach 3 heads
• an xbox 360 controller (functional)
• Untold numbers of notebooks and three-ring binders
• Book: Eats Shoots and Leaves
• A printer/scanner (functionality not yet tested)
• A dvd player with not 1, not 2, not 5, but a hexgasm of speakers for surround sound
• Soccer goalie pants (they have pads in them)
• 2 pairs of scissors
• A handful of Mexican coins, value unknown.
• 40 pounds of used books for financial aid students
• 60 pounds of clothes given to a thrift shop

Feel free to share your own stories of dumpster diving. Also, I would urge people to contact their schools and encourage them to organize recycling programs. Contact local charities and invite them to campus, and/or organize a charity auction for discarded items at the end of the year. I have been informed that Notre Dame has just such a charity auction, but I was unable to find information on it online. Please send me a link if you find one.

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